Thinking of dropping Haskell

I'm thinking of dropping Haskell because it's just too lazy. People claim that normal order evaluation optimizes cpu cycles since you don't evaluate code that isn't used. Maybe, but to me I just see a cpu that isn't being utilized effectively. Applicative order languages work much harder, but in the end even they don't fair much better IMHO. Give me a language that implements hyper eager evaluation. Did you realize that idle cpu cycles before you've written any code are lost forever? With hyper eager evaluation, the language begins executing code before you've even written a single line, thereby making efficient use of the cpu. What would normally be lost cpu cycles are instead turned into high cpu utilization doing fibonacci calculations, running hello world programs and auto generating introductory Monad tutorials.

I know I'll be ready for the Web 3.14159 Tech Bubble with my introductory Monad tutorial in hand. Will you?

Update: Wishing all of you a merry April Fool's Day.

tags: haskell

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